


Breaking Point

by MidnightFox73



Series: Side Effects [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Additional Tags May Be Added, Alcohol dependency, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Anxiety Disorder, Inspired by Marissa Meyer's Renegades, References to Depression, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 10:20:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15970331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightFox73/pseuds/MidnightFox73
Summary: Stretch doesn't need to sleep. While many would see it as an opportunity to be productive, there are also downsides. Like the inability to escape one’s own mind. Stretch has always been an anxious person, paired with never sleeping and he's his own worst enemy.





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Odderancy (dreamcatchers_and_chocolate)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcatchers_and_chocolate/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Poisons to Blind You, Poisons to Open Your Eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821526) by [Odderancy (dreamcatchers_and_chocolate)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamcatchers_and_chocolate/pseuds/Odderancy). 



> I apparently couldn't leave well enough alone and had to do a fic for Stretch. Well I suppose you can't write for one brother without writing for the other.
> 
> Again I wrote this during the late/early hours so if you see any mistakes I'm sorry. My ability to write just prefers those hours for some reason. I always HIGHLY recommend checking out Odderancy (dreamcatchers_and_chocolate)'s works as they're amazing and inspired me to start writing again.
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

With a sigh Stretch closed the book he’d just finished; Mazes and Labyrinths. He seriously needed to stop reading his father’s books; no matter how boring they were they were incapable of putting him to sleep, despite his best efforts. Instead all he gained was information that could put him at the top of his class, but that would give him more attention than he wanted.

Tossing the book onto a pile he went about getting ready for a new school day. He buried the anger that the smell of pancakes caused, he knew his brother only made them in an attempt to lighten the mood. That and they were the currently the only breakfast dish he was adamant on improving, and by improving, less burning. The smoke alarm hadn’t gone off, so he was fairly certain there hadn’t been a fire, but it wouldn’t be the first time for its batteries to have gone missing either.

He made short work of getting to the kitchen, easily avoiding all the squeaky floorboards like it was second nature. Stretch supposed that one decent thing about being unable to sleep, ever, meant that he was able to improve his stealth each and every night.

He smiled at seeing Blue, bright smile on his face and stars in his eyes. His own eyes quickly scanned the room, messy countertops from Blue’s cooking, and no coffee mugs. Their father must have left in the early hours, probably around 3am if he were to hazard a guess, of course he would pick that time. Stretch would have had his headphones on and listening to music as loud as possible to drown out his own mind. Early hours were the worst. Yet the fact that it was during that time when their father had left made him more annoyed. What if they had needed him? They were still children for crying out loud.

Stretch immediately tried to crush his annoyance at seeing his brother’s smile tense slightly. Surely the universe had to hate their family to give them both abilities that caused each of them to suffer. Sure his brother didn’t have to suffer the effects of being awake all the time but with how little he did sleep he doubted it made much a difference. Still having to feel and deal with the constant presence of negative emotions all the time, especially at home, had to be draining. It just made him admire his brother even more, he was so cool.

“So when do you want to leave for school?” Blue asked as Stretch sat down. Stretch noticed the question for what it was a distraction, a way to avoid bringing up their father or their powers. Those conversations usually started with asking how his evening was. He could never hide his envy when asked, even though the question was meant well it was just another horrible reminder that he couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept, couldn’t remember what it felt like to dream, to tune out the world and his thoughts for a few blissful hours.

“Probably shouldn’t leave it too late.” He replied with a smile. The school wasn’t too far, easily accessible in a few minutes to those with a car, even though their father hadn’t dropped them off in over a month. “It’s a long walk.” Thank goodness they’d be starting high school soon; it was closer and meant that they didn’t have to go past that creepy shop anymore.

Spying the honey Stretch popped the cap and poured the sweet golden liquid onto his plate, drowning his pancakes in perfection. He could feel Blue’s gaze studying him from across the table but he kept himself feeling happy, his brother had done a good job with breakfast, there was honey, and it was the start of the weekend tomorrow.

Stretch cast Blue his own studious glance when he noticed him look away, and not for the first time did he wish he knew how Blue felt. While Blue was often very expressive, if the stars in his eyes were any clue, he knew that these mornings affected his brother just as much as they affected him. It was one of the mornings where they were both determined to be happy for each other, to pretend for a moment that they were a happy family. That nothing was wrong.

But how long could such an act last?

\--

Ignore them. They’re liars and fakes. They can’t be trusted. Ignore them. Stretch clenched his fist tighter ignoring the idle chatter for the other students around him as he followed his brother through the hall towards their next class. It was easier to go from class to class instead of trying to mingle with the other students. Students who whisper and spread lies, who cast pitying glances, who judge them for being different. He hates them. He hates high school.

With a sigh he pushed his thoughts away, at least as away as they could go. Turning his head to look at Blue he noticed his brother’s tight shoulders, a slight blue glow dusted his brother’s face. His concern for his brother grew; the crowds must be getting to him as well.

Grabbing his Blue’s shoulder he gave a small be reassuring or at least he hoped it was, squeeze, with it he let himself feel as reassuring and comforting and positive as possible. Though he doubted much of it got past the overwhelming concern he was feeling. Still Blue would appreciate the attempt.

Stretch had been concerned when he noticed the signs of a rumour being spread. At first he was worried they were about his brother, those had a tendency to circle around, usually accompanied by pitying looks, like there was something wrong with his brother. Instead he had learned it was about a different student, apparently they had the ability to possess people. Stretch already envied them. What he could do with a power like that. For starters he’d get the other students to back off and leave them alone.

“Looks like Little Blue’s having a bad day.” A group of girls laughed and Stretch glared at them, he caught their gaze and they quickly shut up. If the school had learned one thing it was not to insult his brother in his presence. The sooner they got to their next class the better; he couldn’t wait to be out of the hallway.

Stretch looked back to his brother just in time to see another student walk into him eliciting a startled cry from Blue. Anger burned with him, why was everyone in this school so careless. He moved to put himself between the other student and his brother.

“You should be more careful.” He growled, when would people learn that touch heightened the effect of the feelings Blue could feel in a person. He didn’t want them overwhelming his brother with negative feelings; surely it was bad enough for him to already know they were there.

“I-I’m sorry.” The other kid stammered. Stretch mentally sighed, he was probably being too harsh again, though he was finding it difficult to care, it had been a long week, and it was only Wednesday.

He unclenched and clenched his first and mentally counted to ten, it was an exercise meant to calm him down to help him regain control of his situation, of his thoughts. Looking towards Blue he nodded, his brother was slightly shocked but he would be okay, there was no harm done.

“It’s fine.” Stretch sighed, “Just please, don’t do it again.” The other kid had only just started nodding and seeming to relax before someone shouted.

“That’s the freak that can possess people!”

Suddenly the hallway was in an uproar, insults were being yelled, threats were made and some even threw paper balls at the student.

“Freak!”

“No one wants you here!”

“Demon!”

“Burn in Hell!”

Stretch watched in anger and horror as the kid before him grew more frightened with each passing second. A part of his mind shouted to defend them, to fight back against the bullies, another part of him felt afraid, what if that crowd turned on him? What if it turned on Blue? His fear kept him silent, and he did nothing as the student ran off tears streaming down their face.

The crowd seemed pleased as the student ran off. He only felt a little guilty at not intervening but decided to push it aside as he turned to face his brother.

Blue looked ill. Grabbing his shoulder and looking his brother in the eyes he made himself feel nothing but caring concern for his brother, it wasn’t had. The smile he received was weak; Blue’s eyelights were small blue dots.

Dropping his hand from Blue’s shoulder he watched as he turned around and headed for the exit. Stretch shrugged and followed, he didn’t mind missing school. Besides his brother clearly needed him more. He ignored his thoughts about what would happen to the student, told himself that it didn’t concern him.

When the other student never returned to school he hadn’t been surprised. He just pushed it aside and continued with his life. It did however hurt to see his brother look guilty and sad. Blue had done nothing wrong he had been too shocked and overwhelmed emotionally to help. Stretch pushed down his guilty thoughts, they wouldn’t help. He didn’t want to deal with another student’s problems, he had enough problems already.

It was selfish and his mind never let him forget it.

\--

Caught between the urge to pace his room or hit his head against the wall, Stretch simply gave up and groaned in frustration into his pillow. He wanted his thoughts to stop. None of the projects he had attempted to work on held his attention for very long, and as much as he wanted to loudly blast music to make thinking impossible, his hearing was still recovering from the previous night. Listening to music without headphones was also a no, it was almost midnight and Blue would not appreciate being woken by loud music at such an early hour.

It was getting worse. He knew it was getting worse. With a moan he got up and began pacing making sure to keep his footsteps light. His thoughts had been racing ever since their father had returned after dinner. He had just walked in like he had never been away and it infuriated him.

Blue had been ecstatic, bright eyes, large smile and a death grip hug. He would have laughed had he not been consumed with questions. Why return now? Why had it been so long? Why hadn’t he called before now? Why didn’t he announce that he was coming home sooner? Was his work finished? Would he be leaving again? Never mind, he always leaves again. How long would it be for this time? How long does he plan to stay? Why won’t he give us an explanation?

Stretch had been about to demand answers before their father disappeared into his study, which he had yet to leave. Blue had brushed it off saying they could speak to him in the morning before they settled down to have a movie night. More than once he had been tempted to march into their father’s study and demand answers but he had left it too late, and he refused to have an argument with their father while Blue went to bed. At least one person in this house needed sleep.

The questions hadn’t left, they got worse. Worse case scenarios played out in his mind. Questions he couldn’t and didn’t know the answers to taunted him, and why did their father have to return now. School was already stressful enough with its exams and gossip happy students that got thrills from spreading rumours.

Stretch ran his hand down his face in an attempt to regain a sense of calm. It only partially helped, but he could still feel the pressure building. He was nearing breaking point, and nothing was working to help regain control.

Casting his eyes about his room Stretch looked for something, anything to use as a distraction, to stop his thoughts from consuming him. Books, most of which were in a haphazard pile by his bed, he’d read them all and they were all interesting enough to be read again. The current problem was that he couldn’t focus on the words. Music was still out of the question, both from sore hearing and not wanting to disturb his brother. His laptop lay abandoned at the foot of his bed; he’d been half way through his geography homework before he could no longer focus. Now it was just another stressful point on his already long list. His homework was due in two days and he wasn’t even half done.

His eyes caught sight of his pillow, soft and fluffy and so inviting. Something snapped. With a cry of frustration he left his room.

It’s not fair. Everyone else got to escape their problems, their stress. If only for a moment. They got the joy of lying in bed and closing their eyes and dreaming. To be so completely relaxed and at peace, even for a few minutes. They got to feel reenergised from a nap. They got to wake up feeling refreshed, ready to start a new day. They got to have a new day. Every day for him was like a part of a never ending day. It just kept going. Sure the sun came up and signalled the start of the daylight hours, and clocks told time. They were both useful in setting up a routine, but it never felt like a new day.

Arriving in the kitchen, Stretch turned on the kettle before grabbing the honey out of the cupboard, mentally noting that they needed more. Grabbing a mug he waited, hovering by the kettle and watching it boil, fingers tapping against the ceramic mug. His wait wasn’t long and he quickly went about making coffee, it was the fastest drink he could make, and tasted surprisingly good with honey, not that Blue would ever agree.

Dropping into a chair he let himself collapse. That pressure was ready to burst, he could feel it ready to overwhelm him, drown him in his stress and fear. He counted, focused on his breathing.

“Oh. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.” Stretch looked up to see his father standing in the kitchen doorway, a collection of mugs in his hands.

“You didn’t.” It was almost a physical challenge to push back the angry comments and demanding questions, but he managed. Blue would be so proud, they weren’t arguing. For once.

“I thought you’d be asleep.” His father inquired while dumping the mugs in the sink. Blue wouldn’t be happy with having to do the dishes again. He made note to do them later, if he remembered.

It took a moment for Stretch to process the words, his thoughts silencing for a moment as he focused on what his father had said. On what it meant. He laughed bitterly.

“I don’t sleep.” Stretch was glad Blue wasn’t in the kitchen with the amount of anger he was currently directing towards their father with his glare.

“Coffee won’t help I’m afraid.” He wasn’t even looking at his son, eyes fixed on the task at hand. Stretch’s grip on his own mug tightened to the point where it hurt. This had to be a joke.

“It doesn’t matter, I don’t sleep.” Stretch was trying very hard not to shatter the mug. To keep his anger in check, arguing wouldn’t help, and to keep the pressure within from drowning him.

“You know, I actually know someone who doesn’t need to sleep.” His father turned to him with a smile. “You remind me a lot of him.” Stretch could only stare as his father gave him a pat on the shoulder and bid him a good night and pleasant dreams before leaving.

He doesn’t care. The thought was followed by raw anger and a helpless mug of honeyed coffee went flying into the wall.

\--

Their father was gone. He had walked out and didn’t look back. He hadn’t even put up a fight when Stretch had demanded for him to leave. At first he had been relieved then he was angry, he had just left, no complaints, no excuses, he had just walked out. Finally he felt guilty, Blue hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye as he’d been too busy making dinner.

Curled into the sofa Stretch tried his best to clear his mind of guilt ridden thoughts. That he was to blame for their father leaving. That he should have done something to stop him. That he should have included Blue in the decision for their father to leave. He was a bad son, and worse a terrible brother.

Pressing tighter into the cushions Stretch willed himself to disappear, to make this ache in his chest vanish. His thoughts kept coming.

They will never see him again. Blue will never see him again. Does it even matter? He was never much of a father. He was never there. He was never around. Blue raised me, and I raised Blue. It’s been this way for years. Does it even matter? Blue’s not upset. Or is he? How can you tell? What if he was lying? Blue wouldn’t lie. We don’t lie to each other. But what if? He’s never coming back and what if Blue’s mad about it? He’s not. Is he? It’s impossible to tell. Why did he leave? Did we-I-make him? Will Blue leave too? Was I a bad son? Am I a bad brother? Have I failed? Yes. He’s gone. Blue’s still here. But for how long? He won’t leave. Will he? Did he leave because we’re a burden to him? Blue’s not a burden. He’s amazing. He deserves better. A better father. A better brother. He would be better off without us. He is better off without me. He’s already so great. I’m holding him back. Maybe I should leave? I’ve caused enough problems. If I stay I’ll just cause more. I already lost Blue his father. I’m a curse on this family. They’d have been better off without me. I’m nothing but a burden....

 

Blue had just finished getting his things ready for tomorrow’s day of school when he was hit with a strong sense of panic and stress. It wasn’t uncommon for his brother to become stressed during the late and early hours of the day but this was beyond that. Moving quickly Blue headed for the living room only to stumble upon seeing Stretch in such misery.

Stretch was curled up tightly in a fatal position on the sofa, shaking and gasping for breath. Blue was at his side in seconds. Being next to him Blue could make out the tears spilling down his brother’s face.

Taking a steadying breath Blue reached out and grasped Stretch’s arm. Raw emotions hit him like a punch to the face and his own tears welled up in his sockets threatening to fall. The usual snippets of information was clearer now that there was nothing to filter the channel of emotions through. He didn’t like the thoughts racing around his brother’s head.

“Stretch.” Blue gently shook his brother hoping to break him free of his own mind. “Stretch!” He tried again slightly harder when there was no response.

Stretch gasped and coughed as he was startled from his thoughts. He looked up to see Blue’s eyes wide with worry, tears gathered in the corners of his sockets. More guilt. He had caused that. Stretch opened his mouth to apologise but all that came out was a strangled sob. It was all too much.

The built up pressure had finally been realised. Unfortunately it had broken a lot of walls in the process; Stretch knew not all of them could be fixed. It had only been a matter of time. But everyone has a breaking point.

\--

Anxiety had not been a severe factor in his life for long before depression set in. Fortunately the latter wasn’t as severe as the former, which meant that he mostly suffered from intense stress and worry. The majority of which resolved around his brother.

Stretch really couldn’t fault Blue; he was his rock in his otherwise unstable and emotionally unbalanced world. It was his love for his brother that made him hide his emotions, usually his worry and fear over his brother’s safety slipped from beyond his control but it was only natural in a way, and he did worry about his brother a lot. Still the thought of Blue seeing his emotional turmoil made his anxiety worse; it was why he’d perfected hiding his emotions.

Of course he knew there were times when he couldn’t hide, but those were also times where he was reaching his limit. On the nights he needed to do something more to get rid of the thoughts in his head, to stop the worry and the doubt. To really just stop feeling for a while. To escape life. If only for a moment. The headaches that accompanied such nights were also effective at keeping the harsh reality of life at bay, at least for a little while longer.

He could clearly remember the night he’d started drinking, to find a sense of relief in fear of being driven mad. Blue had been broken. His brother had witnessed a crime and as per his nature had gone to help the person in trouble. It had ended very badly. Blue had witnessed three people die and blamed himself, he had even overwhelmed himself with his own powers and in doing so forced anyone around him to feel what he felt.

When Blue had finally regained control over his own emotions he had done nothing but apologise for months. Stretch was partially worried he was going to relapse. Unfortunately with his emotions once again his own Stretch was left to suffer the full effects of his stress and worries. Given that Blue usually felt at peace while sleeping had allowed the evenings to be rather productive. Instead of having to fight his thoughts likely he usually would have he’d been consumed by Blue’s peaceful emotions and been able to ignore his thoughts and get some of his projects done. That and the fact that he finally knew exactly how his brother felt were the only positives of otherwise several emotional months.

Having to deal with the effects of his thoughts again and his increased worry over his brother had pushed him into looking for a stronger way to clear his mind. He had made sure to leave several notes about the house should Blue have searched for him, but he had needed to get out of the house. They didn’t own any alcohol at the time, there had been no interest in it. The hour had been too early for the local stores to be open which left a couple of bars as his options.

He didn’t regret drinking himself senseless, instead he knew right then that it was going to become a coping mechanism. He’d made sure to become friends with the bartender. It wouldn’t hurt to have someone he trusted watch his back while he drank himself into a stupor. Best of all the bartender didn’t mind once he explained himself, he got a look of pity but otherwise he was good company, at least when he wasn’t busy serving other customers.

Blue had been upset by this new development but had allowed it when they both noticed that it wasn’t very often he indulged in it, and the pressure didn’t build up as fast. It was an escape, it was poor escape and certainly not healthy but it was an escape and so far it hadn’t failed.

\--

It had been a long week; the constant pressure was near breaking point again. Stretch knew it would most likely mean he’d end up spending the night at the bar drinking until he forgot his own name. The news had shown Blue fighting against a super villain and it had clearly shown the heavy hit his brother had taken. He hadn’t been able to stop worrying after that. Things were made worse when the reporter had lost sight of the pair, all the civilians had been cleared out safely and law enforcement had shown up and began inspecting the area. The fight had apparently moved elsewhere.

Stretch had been glued to the news for the rest of the day watching for any signs or mentions of his brother. His phone was in hand in case his brother’s colleagues called with bad news. When Blue had finally walked into the house Stretch’s sense of relief had them both collapsing, he had jumped up from the sofa only to stumble and Blue had barely been a step away from the door. Still Stretch was on his feet in an instant and crushing his brother is a hug. He was also making a mental note to never watch the news again unless absolutely necessary. The stress from so much worry had almost driven him mad.

Blue had helped calm him down uttering both comforting words and making him emotionally relaxed. Stretch didn’t fight it, he was too relieved. His brother was alive. He had a nasty bruise on the side of his face but he was alive.

He also didn’t complain when Blue moved them over to the sofa, both curling up into comfortable positions. How he had still been able to keep hugging his brother he was unsure but Stretch didn’t mind, the contact was comforting.

“I learned a new trick today.” Blue grinned as he looked down at his brother’s head resting on his chest. Stretch hummed his acknowledgement that he’d been heard. “I can put people to sleep.”

Stretch tensed and sat up staring at his brother, surely he’d misheard. The grin on his brother’s face said otherwise.

“It’s only temporary. And I have to retain contact while doing it. But otherwise I can render someone unconscious.” Blue was grinning, giant stars filled his sockets. “It was how I was able to arrest Jagged Sparrow.”

Stretch was still staring in disbelief.

“If you want I could try doing it on you.”

Stretch couldn’t get his mouth to work in order to say yes, so instead he just nodded, very enthusiastically. Blue simply chuckled before requesting that he get comfortable. Which he did, turning over so that he was on his back slightly propped up against Blue’s body, his head on his brother’s chest once again. He couldn’t lie about how much he was hoping for this to work.

Blue placed both of his hands on his head and Stretch immediately felt himself relax. The feeling grew and soon all negative thoughts and emotions were being chased away too. Closing his eyes he allowed Blue complete control. A part of him knew that real sleep would never be obtainable, but this was an imitation. It was the sense of being at ease and completely relaxed his mind blank of any thoughts.

It would be the closest he ever got to being able to sleep; he loved every second of it. More so he loved how his brother’s first reaction to learning he could do this was to help him. He was so cool. So until Blue decided he was bored or needed to start making dinner, Stretch decided he would remain lying on comfortably on the sofa with his brother. He briefly wondered if Blue had in fact fallen asleep and he was just feeling that. Stretch quickly decided he didn’t care. If Blue was asleep, he was going to pretend he was too.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I feel the need to point out a couple of things in case they're not overly clear. I didn't go in depth on these things because when I had tried a version were they were explained it lost something. Though I was writing and editing this around 1am so I doubt I was thinking too clearly.
> 
> Anyways firstly I want to point out Blue and Stretch's father's actions in the kitchen. To clarify the guy was more than likely very sleep deprived and simply running on coffee, he probably wasn't even completely aware that he was at home. So when he talks to Stretch he didn't realise he was talking to the person he was talking about. I did have another couple of paragraphs drawing out the scene but it felt too long and forced so I cut it. Sorry if there's any confusion.
> 
> Secondly the 'pressure' Stretch is often describing (I'm not sure if it's clear to others as it is to me so I'll explain just in case). It's an emotional and mental pressure. He feels overwhelmed by his worry, his stress, and his thoughts. They're all fighting to be at the front of his mind, to be addressed and acknowledged. This creates an almost physical feeling of pressure within him that when broken leaves him an emotional and stressed out mess.
> 
> I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks myself, so I was using some of my own experiences to write Stretch and how he attempts to handle his. I know not everyone suffers from them in the same way or to the same degree, but I figured since it's mentioned canonically by Odderancy that Stretch worries a lot and suffers from depression and severe anxiety, that I would write him in a way that shows how he's fighting those negative parts of himself.
> 
> I think I'm rambling now. Otherwise that's everything. I hoped you all enjoyed.


End file.
